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2m2s2r

My car won’t be here for another 2 weeks effectively. Life is tough. I am also running out of money. But I will get paid next week so that’s alright. I will move in to this new place end of next week. Spent the day viewing houses and with Reuben first at the beach and then at Fremantle for a coffee. It was perfect. You know some people you can stay with for more than a few hours. I love it when that’s not the case. I get to see P tmr night. Perfection.

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2 minute 2 sentences 2 remember

Flight back to Australia but not back to anything I know. But still I think a year in Australia will make me happier than working a year back home. Am I deluded? Sad and lonely but not for long. I already have plans for next week! I can do it!! 💪🏼 I will not give up! 

………….

Remembering 

You have a good heart, you’re a good person. I don’t want to be with anyone else but you. 

please just

You’re a fucking psycho

Well you think I’m fucking waiting for you. I’m not here just waiting for you right. Who do you think you are. 

If you’re not happy you can fuck off right 

You think I fucking need you. I’m perfectly fine without you here right

You’re acting like your fucking – right. You think I’m your -?! Fucking psycho

…….

I don’t care what they think I only care about you

I love you so much 

I can’t put into words how much I love you 

Loser

All pain is temporary

Defence

That was actually the first time that has ever happened to me. In the past even when I felt scared, it was just being nervous. Even if I knew they were much stronger than me, I knew I had control. Technically, we’re always in danger of getting over powered – even A would have no problem if he really wanted to.

But never before have they not stopped the instant I felt uncomfortable, or the instant they thought I was frightened or even the slightest not into it. I’ve never had to say it more than once, much less repeated myself.

Maybe that’s why I’m so comfortable most of the time. And complete not suspicious. That was but a mild experience of what it could have been. A small slap.

I will be more wary in the future.

Missing someone/something/somewhere/sometime is the worst feeling in the world

And how can an emotion physically cause pain

perplexing.

what.

not have it happen once.

but twice.

i’ve never felt so unattractive before.

ever.

what, not pretty enough for you?

and also disgusted with myself.

maybe it’s a blessing in disguise.

what are you talking about, it’s definitely a blessing in disguise.

it is the mother of all fucking blessings you will ever get in your god damn MF life.

be fucking grateful that’s all that fucking happened.

also

don’t trust guys that claim they don’t have a type.

everyone has a god damn fucking type

and you’re just walking into the same thing

to have everyone around label you as something you’re not.

just another one.

why do you always set yourself up for disappointment.

seriousfuckingly.

i am so done with you.

fucking done.

bury yourself.