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June 13, 2014

It’s bizarre how quick the switch can flip. A moment on the top of the world, the next you reckon you’ve died and landed in hell.

It’s important I think, to figure out what’s the difference between the 2 extremes. Because it’s really not that much. I think trying to avoid plunging is pretty difficult, there doesn’t really seem to be a trigger. I think it’s probably more important to focus on how to get myself out of it- not that it doesn’t usually sort itself out somehow eventually –  just like to feel like i have a bit more control over it, and maybe shorten it’s stay.

Well right now I definitely know the exact cause of it – it’s that useless ass. But I really wanna know how one thing can suddenly make everything seem so horrible, when a moment before it was all sunshine and happiness. How did that happen? Only one thing changed, effectively. It’s like suddenly everything’s got this grey tinge.

Anyway, I’m not actually clinically unwell, understand. It’s just me. And I’m not going to be like you. Everything is up to me. I’m not going to go down that road.

Anyway. I need to be positive. And I need to break out of this shit.

Anyway. I hope mittens is alright.


ARGH FUCKING ASSHOLE. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




From → family, reflection

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