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privacy

April 7, 2012

bg info:

we have each others fb password.

last year, i found out, from logging into his fb account. (for the most innocent reason, to watch a private video he was performing in which he was telling me about) that he lied to me. big time. and we fought so much, for so long, that we nearly broke up.

this year. from his fb. i found out 2 other things that he tried to keep from me.

not too bright, this guy.

and now he’s being frustrated at me for not trusting him and needing to check his fb.

keep in mind that i don’t even do it regularly. it just so happens. that the 3 or 4 times i DO go into his fb, i find things.

so what about all those other times that i don’t?

also keep in mind, that he has lied to me, and promised NOT to lie to me many times before too.

but yes, i am that stupid and that pathetic that i forgive him again and again anyway. and furthermore. i’m stupid enough to let him know, that no matter how many times he lies to me, i will, with almost 100% certainty, still want to forgive him and stay with him anyway.

though at least he says he understands that he needs to earn back trust.

but now it’s my fault that i make him feel ‘so fucking frustrated’.

‘i know its because you don’t trust me that’s why you look and fine, you’ve found things okay i’m sorry. but still, makes me so fucking uncomfortable and so fucking frustrated’

yeah because obviously, I, am incapable of feeling frustration as well, and of course it’s all my fault that I don’t trust him. Why can’t i just trust him, like it’s smth i can control.

as if i DON’T want to trust him. as if i LIKE, NOT trusting him.

fuck man, if i had a choice, of course i would rather trust than not right?!?!

fuck man.

but obviously. now it’s my turn to give in and i will just say anything to help him feel better so that he can go back to studying.

sigh.

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From → lies, love

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